


Without You

by vintagejmo



Category: Captain Swan - Fandom, Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-24
Updated: 2017-05-24
Packaged: 2018-11-04 14:53:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10993203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vintagejmo/pseuds/vintagejmo
Summary: Killian tells his two-year-old daughter the story of how her mother died.





	Without You

**Author's Note:**

> Although this is about Captain Swan, not Colifer, I will still add my usual note:  
> I realize Colin has a family of his own; this is strictly for fun. I respect him and his life decisions alongside Jen’s.

'It’s been two years since she left. Dare I say died? No, I can’t.  
Leia is almost three years old. She says she wants to be a sheriff, just like her mother. She’s seen the photographs of Emma and her father, David, wearing their badges. I tried to tell her that Emma was a bail-bonds-person before she became a sheriff, but her heart is set and there’s no altering course now.' 

My eyes filled with tears, but I quickly shut them with great strength, attempting to ignore the burning liquid that threatened to pour out. I inhaled a large amount of air, and continued the entry. 

'She is beginning to look a lot like her mother: beautiful green eyes, button nose. She has darker hair, which I think she got from me. But there’s still a hint of blonde that threatens to break free. I hope that it overpowers the dull brown that currently possesses her head at some point in her life. What I would give to see those long, blonde locks of wavy hair cascade down her back.' 

This round of tears fought harder, and they won. My face crinkled together at an attempt to drown out the pain. Salty fluid fell onto the paper that I’d been writing on, which I quickly tried to dry up, but ultimately failed. The ink began to smear, which caused more tears to fall from my overworked eyes. 

“Daddy?” A small voice asked from the doorway. I closed the journal and stood up abruptly. 

Our eyes met, but I couldn’t make out her expression due to the watery mess that covered my face. “Sweetheart,” I breathed. “You- are you okay?” I made my way over to her, now realizing that she was also in tears. 

I knelt down in front of her, wrapping my arms around her small torso. She rested her hands near my neck and buried herself in my warmth. “What’s wrong, baby? Talk to me.” I continued rubbing her back while I spoke comforting words. 

“Today,” She said after a long moment of silence. “I know,” She let out a sob. I tried to look at her, but she refused to come out from the shelter of my body. “I know what today is.” This statement broke my heart, to say the least. I finally let myself collapse, causing a waterfall of tears to plunge onto everything in my line of sight. 

I started to think about all of the times I’d told Leia about her mother’s death. So many times, I’d told her that she simply sacrificed herself. Which wasn’t false, but it was very vague. The complete tale was not subtle, nor delicate. It was filled with gruesome details that when even merely described to you would haunt your thoughts for days. It’s taken me two entire years to simply rid my mind of the flowers that her mother, Mary-Margaret, had picked for the funeral. But the image of Emma on her deathbed, the story of how she ended up there, those thoughts would never leave my mind. 

After holding each other for what seemed like hours, I pulled away gently. I’d decided that she should finally hear it. My daughter deserved to know the real story - the full story of how her mother died. 

Leia looked at me with melancholy eyes. I gave her a weak and uncertain smile, but I doubt she could comprehend the expression with which my face portrayed. “I want to tell you,” I looked toward the ground, but quickly fixed my gaze back in the direction of my daughter. “How your mother died,” I said in an unsteady voice. My hands were resting on her triceps, squeezing the soft flesh with almost no force, as though I was attempting to hold myself up without placing my feet on the ground. 

The look on Leia’s face was one I would never forget. Her eyebrows shot up, but quickly went into a furrow, while her mouth curled downward, allowing her eyes to widen as much as they desired. She reached her hand up to her face, wiping some tears away, before replying to my suggestion. “You already told me-” She quietly started. 

“No, not the entire story.” I cut her off. I placed my hand on her warm cheek, catching a tear the moment our skin collided. “Leia,” I took a deep breath. “I think it’s time you know how your mother died.” She uneasily agreed and followed my guidance to the bed in the corner of the room. 

I positioned myself as though I was getting ready for a good reading session, but this time I’d be the one telling the story. 

“It was November, 2015.” Leia wrapped herself around my waist as I continued my story. “You were only 11 months old.” I added, smiling weakly at her. She shed a tear when she met my gaze, but quickly looked back down at my legs. 

///

Emma’s POV - November 15th, 2015

/// 

Bright beams of sun cascaded onto my bare skin through the window. My eyes fluttered open, catching a glimpse of my husband’s unconscious expression. I placed my hand on his cheek, and let it stay there for a moment, before exiting the warm sheets of our bed. 

My limbs led me to the bathroom, where I examined the state of my physical features. After a moment of correcting my flaws, I headed downstairs to cook my family and me some breakfast. Preparing the meal took a bit longer than anticipated, but Killian and Leia were patient. Henry was spending the weekend at Regina’s, or else he would have been helping me with serving everyone. 

Once everyone was served, I decided to put on some casual attire and go for a stroll down main-street. Killian supported my suggestion with great encouragement, offering to take Leia to my parents’ house for the rest of the day to allow him to run some errands that he’d been needing to do for quite some time. The weather was ideal - partly cloudy, with a few breezes here and there, and no more than a 70 degree temperature. I began to think back on mine and Killian’s wedding day, reliving the ceremony that everyone so very enjoyed. The Black Fairy’s curse hadn't succeeded, but she’d promised to return in the following months with a full-proof plan that would, “end us all.” That was nearly a year ago, and as I thought about the topic more, I began to grow anxious at the fact that she hadn't shown up yet. 

I quickly shrugged off the feeling of nervousness that settled in my stomach, and continued my walk. After what seemed like hours of moving at a steady pace, I decided to head back in the direction of Granny’s; earlier, I’d texted Killian to meet me there around supper time, which was roughly the current hour. 

About half way there, a force caused me to stop in my tracks, immobilizing my entire body; my thoughts were thrown into overdrive, wondering what could be the cause of my paralysis. I looked around frantically, trying to come up with a solution, but my thoughts were frozen when I saw her. The Black Fairy stood a few yards down the street, holding a grin inside her devilish being. 

“Emma,” She breathed. She appeared a few feet away from me, startling me and causing me to slightly flinch. The spell she casted on me forbid me of speaking, which provoked me to no ends. I struggled to break free from the invisible prison, watching her laugh at my useless attempts. “Darling, no need to fear me.” She said in a mocking tone. She pranced around my rooted figure for what had to be 5 minutes, sneering at every single thing that I did. No matter if I was attempting to escape, or simply exhaling, she found great joy in my discomfort and impatience. 

“Emma? Emma!” I heard someone yell from behind me. I recognized the thick accent, along with the clacking of his boots on the asphalt street. “What’s going on?” He exclaimed worriedly, running to my side. Our eyes finally met, but he immediately broke the bond. His voice came out more vulnerable than I think he meant it. “What do you want?” His question was directed to the Black Fairy, but his body was still facing mine. 

“Oh, you know what I want.” She replied simply. Shortly after, more of my family members rushed into the street, wearing concerned and fearful expressions on their faces. “Great! Now that we’re all here, we can begin.” With that, she released me from her spell, which caused me to stumble a bit before regaining my balance. 

“Killian,” I said with great worry in my eyes, his mirroring the same emotion. He pulled me against his hard body, constantly pulling me impossibly closer to him, as he breathed in my scent for what would be the last time. 

I gently pushed myself off of him, walking toward the rest of my family. Each member got a hug and a loving smile, before I returned to my previous spot, a few feet from Killian. I looked into his eyes, feeling tears build up in my own. He gave me a melancholy smile, but slightly nodded his head, as if to tell me to finish the fight that was about to happen. I took his actions as a signal to begin. 

I walked into the middle of the street, and positioned myself to begin the battle. I saw Henry out of the corner of my eye, who was watching everything very closely. I then saw my parents, who were holding a toddler, my brother, Neal. They seemed to be extremely apprehensive, to which I can’t blame them for being so. I turned slightly to my left, locking eyes with Killian once more. I smiled at him and nodded slightly to reassure him not to worry. 

The Black Fairy demolished some distance between us, circling around me while holding up her hand, getting ready to attack. “No one’s going to save you, Emma.” She quickly lifted her hand, throwing a blast of magic in my direction, which I quickly reflected with the sword that I was handling. She teleported behind me, throwing me into the ground a few yards from where I was standing. I stood up, brushing off my clothes, then immediately charging in her direction, jabbing into what was thin air by the time I reached it. She had teleported again. 

“No one needs to save me. I’m the savior!” I flung my sword in her direction, this time slicing her fair skin, drawing blood. She used magic to clean up the wound. “I’m fighting for the people I love.” I was breathing heavily, but under control. I swung again, saying, “Ultimately, I am a hero.” Another swing. “I am hope.” I drew more blood, but she hit me with a blast of magic, causing me to stumble back. I quickly regained my balance, adding, “I am light!” This swing missed, which made me fall to my knees. I got back up, taking another step towards the Black Fairy. “And light cannot destroy darkness. It can only create more light.” I fought harder, giving all my might into the swings that followed. She easily dodged them, laughing at my failed attempts. “I will not kill innocents!” 

I continued to fight, but I felt myself becoming weaker. Many thoughts ran through my head, some including giving up, some including continuing to fight. I thought back to my wedding day, and all of the smiles on everyone’s faces. I pictured Killian in his wedding attire, along with the rest of the town dressed in their decorative outfits. I spit out some more words, still reaching my conclusion. “I will do what all saviors must!” I hoped that my words sounded confident, because the only emotion I felt was pure panic. “I will give hope…” I gasped for air, trying to decide on what I was to do. I watched the Black Fairy as she wound up another ball of fire. “...no matter what the cost.” I finished my thought, and dropped my sword. 

My actions caused my family members to react in all sorts of ways, including yelling, crying, and gasping in surprise. But one reaction caught my attention. Killian, who was standing still, looked deeply into my eyes, and cried. His eyes filled over and over again with tears of pain and hopelessness. I mouthed the words, ‘I love you.’ in his direction, watching him start to sob even harder. I then felt a blast of fire hit my torso, causing me to fly backwards and hit the solid ground. The pain of the heat was spreading throughout my body; my blood began to boil, and my tears couldn’t escape my eyes, because the heat immediately evaporated them once they touched my skin. The fall against the ground surely broke a few bones, since I felt just as paralyzed as I had when the Black Fairy had casted her curse on me. I cried out in pain, wishing I would’ve fought back. 

Killian rushed over to me, wiping away the tears that were falling from his cheeks. “Emma, you’re going to be okay.” He said in a whimper. He knelt down beside me, caressing my damaged body, trying not to hurt me. 

I looked into his eyes, witnessing the loving look that he had always given me. But this time, it sunk deep into my soul, causing one the worst pains of all - regret. I regretted sacrificing myself. I wished I would’ve fought longer, and tried harder. My eyes wandered around me, taking in the faces of my loved ones. They all looked miserable, which only caused me more pain. 

All of mine and Killian’s adventures ran through my mind at once. Neverland, The Enchanted Forest, New York, Storybrooke, they all came back. “I love you.” I said to him. I reached my hand up to his face, feeling the warmth of his wet skin one more time, before I dozed off into my eternal sleep. 

///

Killian’s POV - November 15th, 2017

///

“And that’s,” I took a deep breath. “How your mother died.” I gave Leia a faint smile, combing my fingers through her long locks of hair. She didn’t respond for a while, just staring blankly at the white, cotton sheets that surrounded us. I proceeded to make calming movements on her soft skin in an attempt to help her feel at ease. 

We sat there, absorbing each other’s presence, for what felt like an eternity. I reminisced about our times together, trying to eliminate the negative ones on the way. Most that came to mind also involved Emma, but I didn’t know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. 

The only memory that didn’t involve Leia, (was solely Emma and I) was that of our first kiss, back in Neverland. I could still smell the rainy atmosphere from which our tale began. The way her eyes filled with want, how her hair swiftly draped over her muscular, yet feminine arms - it was all etched into my brain. I could never forget the way she deepened the kiss repeatedly just so it could last a little bit longer. 

I hadn’t realized how hard I was sobbing until Leia gently pulled at my pant leg, jerking me back into reality. The sight of her emerald eyes and honey hair gave me a sense of closure, knowing that a piece of Emma would always be with me, as long as I had Leia by my side.


End file.
